Long time no blog.
It’s not that I haven’t had anything to say, it’s that I’ve come into such little time to be bored enough to write – which is both a curse and a blessing.
Happy to report I passed my law final with an 82.7, which I’m fine with…B student all the way. I start my last of 3 terms at Baystate on Monday and I’m getting pretty pumped to be finished. Writing papers has become the bain of my existence but with the start of new classes comes the hope of more apathetic teachers who focus more on testing than writing…we’ll see.
Work is fine, It was pretty crazy with all of our auto transplants coming down the line in Jan/Feb but they’ve all but a few been admitted and/or are outpatient now so the storm is passing. I almost have a complete grasp on all of the facets of the new position, it’s more or less training my mind to retain the details of every case on service at a given moment – which is a skill I’m not so sure I can acquire.
Socially things continue to keep my life constantly teasing the sound barrier. The Montreal crew (sans D woods) went to NYC for a few days to see the Spice Girls and get into trouble. Both vacations we’re equal in terms of the amount of relaxation time I got, but equal in satisfaction as well so I won’t complain.
Thomas has been in and out which has been good, not great, but good. I still look forward to him coming home every time, it’s always a good time.
Niko seems to be flourishing, I’m happy for him.
and the bwpc, well…they’re all still cheats and liars but I keep their company regardless.
Happy Birthday Shelby, btw.
Everything is maintaining a quiet happiness for now, I’m enjoying the company of Brian when he’s around and Jenfo on our wine nights. I miss Tevvy Laufer and the baby but keep a spot for them on the couch when I watch our shows.
Birthday soon, looking forward to topping last years shitmess.
I hope you’re all starting to ideate the perfect gift for my 23rd year, bitches.
xoxo
My MBTA arch nemesis is the E HEATH STREET.
You can kiss my ass you worthless cheat of a green line.
So here’s why…
At 10:30pm after psych lecture, when I’m beleaguered from an Arabic man talking at an usual volume (they always seem to yell no matter the conversation) about dendritic cells, I’m pretty eager to get home. Anyhoot, I’ve made a game of guessing (hoping) which train is coming by the time they’re parked at Arlington since you can see it if you look down the tunnel. I can easily make out the C and D trains because they have one line of text in the display…but then there’s that filthy fucking E train that gets me every time I think my smelly chariot is arriving to whisk me home.
HEATH STREET
BOSTON COLLEGE
yes? no? whatever they look same to me at a distance.
Call me crazy, whatever, but it’s horrendous! Standing in stinky ass copley square station that late having to people watch the most hideous grab bag of scags and waitstaff/valets going home from their sad existences that late.
Moving on – ON THE SAME NIGHT I was nearly run over by a drunk guy on a bike on the BU bridge, the fucking guy clips me with his tire before swerving into oncoming traffic. I can only assume he was an MIT student as he wasn’t wearing a helmet and I’m pretty sure he planned on driving into Magazine Park for the purposes of drowning himself in the Charles.
Loves it.
Aside my neuroses things remain pretty typical, I might take up excercising again (might) and I quit smoking next Monday or at least stop buying cigarettes. Also, I’m not going to write what you’re all wanting me to write about because I have things to figure out.
SO!
xo
I finally took December off my wall last night, sweet jesus. Half-month lag? It was a crazy few weeks I suppose, I’m definitely looking forward to more low key events until spring.
I experimented by going to Nashua last weekend to see how weekends up there go, I wouldn’t mind spending more time up there as I got plenty of sleep and wasn’t overdrawn by Monday. Brian, Jennfo, Richard, Shayne and I had a pretty wild AFC Championship party and good times were had by all. I’m thinking it would be a good spot for the Super Bowl if Brian feels like hosting…love that heddy HDTV.
This week has been unexpectedly unforgiving. Work got busy out of no where and I have back to back days of class with a test and some bullshit outline due. Thursday should bring a nice feeling of relief, and then try to take it easy until Saturday for Nik’s 25th birthday shitshow.
I think things are slowly but surely falling into a more structured groove than before. The full classload routine has helped me appreciate quiet time at home more, and other social developments have made me appreciate quiet time other people more.
We’ll see how long it lasts ;)
jeeeeez….
Apologies for the lack of updates but I had a pretty crazy September. It seems I last posted with any substance on the 10th, and in that time quite a bit has happened but in modern seano fashion I’m just going to give you the briefest rundown possible (and it’s 12:34 and I needz mah beauty rest).
I had made it a pretty regular routine to spend my Fri-Sun with the boys and going to the usual places doing the usual things…nothing spectacular on that front. Paul lost his goddamn mind and the ‘BWPC’ has dwindled in numbers since, but I can’t say I’m sorry for it because the people who are relevant I still find time for. Avalon finally shut its doors for the last time at the end of the month and I missed it because…
I planned to surprise Niko in San Francisco before we got into our spat before he left, I’m glad we cleared it up when he actually did leave cause otherwise it would have made for one weird vacation. On the 24th I left for SFO for a week to visit with Mr. Arty and obviously to surprise my baby boy. All in all it was a success on my end, I called him up
outside his dorm and told him I was downstairs…it was pretty neat…It’s one of those things that you imagine but never consider and I’m glad I could make it happen. The rest of my time spent in SF was amazing, I attending the Folsom Street Fair (pics to the left), went to many fabulous eateries, spent a shitload of money on some new junk, and met some new friends. During my stay I did find time to be solo and take a last (well maybe not last) glance at a city I could be moving to in less than a year. I found that while I absolutely adore the city and the western lifestyle…I’m not as headstrong as I was before I came on this second trip. San Francisco is an extremely competitive city full of young adults with talent and the resources necessary to get the jobs they want, not to say I’m afraid…but some extra time padding my resume or taking on more education couldn’t hurt before jumping to the left coast.
We’ll see…
I got home with just enough time to catch up on sleep that I had lost from my terrifying plane ride (nothing abnormal about the trip itself I’m just a basket case on flying metal tubes of death). When I got back to work I immediately hit one of those ‘I’m overwhelmed with work so I’m going to shut down’ moods and had the worst time digging out from emails for the 2 fucking positions I’m working right now. Hopefully the end is near for the job I’m supposed to be done with, but not before I build an 8,000 reference library for a nathan-oski chapter that was due in February. Fuck! I’m not happy about going to work tomorrow knowing I was supposed to get some of it done last week and got none of it…gahhhh
No work rant! No!
The only piece I’m reluctant to type about is the boy sitch. By whichever means people will tell you it was by, I did meet a boy that I’ve been spending time with for about a month. Initially I treated it with the same skepticism I always do, but he’s a smart guy and pretty genuine so we’ll see how this goes…i’m currently enjoying myself quite a bit with it so I’ll stick with that and not put any expectations or goals for it and see how that plan works out for me.
See? A happy note ending!!
xo
ps – really missing my Thomas.
I finally got my hands on a Wii – and it was worth every red cent of my student loan money. If you don’t know what a Wii is yet, well there’s no helping you.
I’ve been playing Zelda like a fiend, and I have a mean net game in WiiTenni
s.
It goes against my new reformed policies on spending, but it really is an investment. I’ve turned down 3 people just this week so far to stay in! thats like $80-$100 bucks! It’s paying itself off. Plus I was in danger of losing all my geek cred if I didn’t buy something to get me back to the modern age of gaming.
Anyhoot. This weekend is Pride and it couldn’t have come at a better time – i’ve totally been bitten by the summer bug. Sleeping with the windows open, walking around with no destination, cookouts, sandals, etc. I fucking love it. I’ve also noticed how my sex drive has kicked in now that my balls are thawed out from a friggid and cruel Boston winter. I just want to walk around without underwear all the time and make nice with many a boy.
SPEAKING of which.
and I know, when it rains it pours – but!
Kelly is trying to set me up with the coordinator for solid organs at TCH. At first I was skeptical but he’s really nice and pretty good looking - a little older at 29 – but who’s to say it’s not “get a drink” worthy? hmm? Either way I’ve been pondering the idea of dating someone from the same field of work for a while…it just seems like it would provide a great nature of relationship.
we’ll see, I am still having a great time being around Tim. Even if he might be my new roommate.
and of course there’s you, but those conversations are much longer…
<3
I took today off, and it worked out beautifully – it was a rainy day.
I still got up early and took my grandmother to an eye appointment downtown. Unfortunately she’s going to need her second surgery to drain the bleeding caused by her diabetes…I’m still not sure how I feel about the whole thing. I’m confident in the ability of the surgeon but obviously this problem speaks to a bigger problem that cannot be fixed – but I’ll do anything I can to keep her as long as I can.
The weekend was the second pleasant one I’ve had since I got back from SF so I have nothing whoreanus to report…aside my general unease with the whole Niko situation. So sick of being tired and oh so tired of being sick. I just want to feel special to him, I don’t care in what form it comes in, but fuck I’m human and I need the boy I love to show me he loves me back. I know he’s trying mentally, but without any kind of tangible recognition how am I supposed to know? It’s just so frustrating and it always comes out in drunken gripe-fests that I hate myself for but I just don’t know how else to appeal to him…I just worry that over time this whole situation is going to prove counter-productive. I can feel myself building up excuses to why he isn’t, and excuses bare resentment, and resentment – well we’ve come full circle and I don’t want that to happen. I love him too much.
Otherwise I continue to try and right the ship financially…I’m really close to perfecting the weeks budget and I know I’ll get there. It seems silly at 21 I should be struggling with something like this but whatever, I was never taught fiscal responsibility. I’ll get there, I’m close.
The coming months will be hectic and over the top. Between now and July there’s a list of events that I have to look forward to including birthdays, thomas’ homecoming + 21st bday, beach trips, visiting friends and a fucking raise! So, however bogged down by love’s trials and impending life changes on the horizon – I have plenty of things to keep me on the up and up.
For now, cheap wine and Saves The Day are ultimate therapy.
xo
My horoscope for today:
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Get moving — a trip will help you determine whether or not to make a change or stay put. You can expand your interests if you take an active role in a group that focuses on similar pastimes. Love is looking hot. 5 stars
5 stars no less! Brilliant.
I know I promised I would write more about other things, but my life is just to frantic for that lately.
Realizations, I’ve had a lot in the last 24 hours. The most important being: I’m happy with me.
Mike Monahan sent me and email this morning
that hovered around my ‘Grinds My Gears’ post, and somewhat reinforced the general feelings of Nik and Reba. Now, without going into details about Mike, I’ll just say that we we’re very close once upon a time. Without dragging this out I’ll say after three people agreeing I had become a different person I did spend the latter half of my day searching for something that felt different inside.
No dice.
So I dissected each of their arguments and found individual faults in all of them united, basically, behind Reb’s very vague statement that I had changed. So I’m calling this issue on it’s bullshit and telling you three to find some substantial evidence. I’ll be waiting in the meantime.
On to happier issues my vacation is ONE WEEK away! Back to California.
Thomas is coming home on Thursday and I get to see him before I go.
Peter cooked me dinner tonight.
Work is going great.
I’m getting back in touch with Erin. +90 pts
Oh, did I mention I was going on vacation with the sweetest boy in the world? Cause I am.
Uh yes, also, listen to this.
Don’t you love how I link shit now? Me too. Though, it’s past my bedtime…I should finish this wine and knock like a jehovah.
xo
So I said, “lets forget these days and just try to build some solid ground.
Maybe someday we could stand straight up with our faces in the wind
and scream to the world.”
We were at some boating dock oh somewhere
at the waterfront staring out across the channel-
a steamer blared its horn
and I wished I could say everything right like do you want to go for a ride?
I looked to your face and saw the sun reflecting off your skin
and I breathed in water smells-
the skyline filled with shipping yards and factories had me dreaming
of waking up-
am I dreaming? is this really me?
because I’ve never felt so not lonely
and if this could be real right now
then everyday for the rest of my life I will search for moments full of you
but let’s hope tomorrow won’t cave in ’cause I’m looking
for someone to change me
and you make me feel so tall- I always want to be this tall
’cause maybe I’ll be original
and sometimes things you say just make me think in different ways
so this is my way of saying
I could be the one who’s dragged home at night awayfrom all my hopeless dreams-
you and me will forge some future because we don’t want to be waiting
for something right to go wrong.
