I finally got my hands on a Wii – and it was worth every red cent of my student loan money. If you don’t know what a Wii is yet, well there’s no helping you.
I’ve been playing Zelda like a fiend, and I have a mean net game in WiiTenni
s.
It goes against my new reformed policies on spending, but it really is an investment. I’ve turned down 3 people just this week so far to stay in! thats like $80-$100 bucks! It’s paying itself off. Plus I was in danger of losing all my geek cred if I didn’t buy something to get me back to the modern age of gaming.
Anyhoot. This weekend is Pride and it couldn’t have come at a better time – i’ve totally been bitten by the summer bug. Sleeping with the windows open, walking around with no destination, cookouts, sandals, etc. I fucking love it. I’ve also noticed how my sex drive has kicked in now that my balls are thawed out from a friggid and cruel Boston winter. I just want to walk around without underwear all the time and make nice with many a boy.
SPEAKING of which.
and I know, when it rains it pours – but!
Kelly is trying to set me up with the coordinator for solid organs at TCH. At first I was skeptical but he’s really nice and pretty good looking - a little older at 29 – but who’s to say it’s not “get a drink” worthy? hmm? Either way I’ve been pondering the idea of dating someone from the same field of work for a while…it just seems like it would provide a great nature of relationship.
we’ll see, I am still having a great time being around Tim. Even if he might be my new roommate.
and of course there’s you, but those conversations are much longer…
<3
Sorry for the delay, I haven’t really had any motivation to write. Plus it’s been super fucking nice out.
I got the “inside” word today that come August, I’ll be moving up the clinical ladder at work. They’ve been conditioning me since I started to be the SCT (Stem Cell Transplant) Clinical Coordinator from day one. I took the admin assist job because I was afraid I would fuck up, and I definitely would have so I’m glad I’ve spent this last year getting a handle on our program. I’m really excited to be getting back to the patient side of business…It’s my passion to be out there having a hands-on approach to helping people. It’s not quite clinical social work but it’s as close as I can get without my MSW. Needless to say I’m fucking blinded with excitement about the upcoming change…and also a little nervous. It’s 
going to require much more effort than I’m giving now (not because I’m lazy, the job isn’t very needy) but I’m willing and eager to take it on. Not to mention the raise…
I’ll keep you posted.
Thomas has been back and I’ve been happily getting as much time with him as possible. It’s refreshing to have him back, he’s my shoulder to lean on and the slap in the back of the head when I’m being stupid – which is more often these days. We had a boys night in the other night and just drank wine, smoked cigarettes and watched Shortbus (amazing, btw.) and I had the most fun I’ve had in a long time. Not to discredit the wild nights with the BWPC, it’s just different when T-Money is around…it’s like being home. Alternatively, I’ve been seeing less of Niko, which is what it is…he’s busy graduating…I really don’t have much to say about that anymore…outloud anyway.
May and June are filling up with a ton of events, namely Thomas’ 21st and my sisters baby shower. The fucking invitation I got in the mail had an asterisk at the bottom that read “*Nicole HATES the color yellow, keep this in mind when shopping”
Hahahaha you frigid bitch!
One of Boston’s most treasured landmarks is the flashing weather beacon that sits atop the old John Hancock Tower, now the Berkeley Building. The tower began forecasting the weather, using predictions from a meteorological company on the 26th floor, in 1950. Its predictions inspired a poem:
Steady blue, clear view
Flashing blue, clouds due
Steady red, rain ahead
Flashing red, snow instead.
(Except in summer, when it means the Red Sox game is canceled.)
Goooo flashing red!
…left of being 21. I’m kind of sad about it, 21 was such a great time.
It had a few downs (some big) but mostly ups. I changed a lot this year, became a newer version of myself I’m confident with. I Made a gaggle of new friends, went camping and enjoyed it! (personal breakthrough), got to go back west and see old friends, re-connected with my father, enjoyed a promotion, came to terms with an emotion for someone I had blocked out since the beginning, and set a tentative course for what I want to do in the next 2 years.
It’s been a good year for me. I hate to see it go.
Twenty-Two is going to bring a lot of radical changes I don’t know I’m quite ready for. I found out earlier this week that Tevvy Laufer, my roommate and domestic support structure, is going home for good on May 31st. She is only 1 out of a handful of people I hold close to my heart I’ll have to wave goodbye to in the coming months. Goodbye’s are always the hardest things I deal with, I don’t know why…something to do with the finality of it all I suppose. I always cry when shows have series finale’s – even if I never followed it. Most recently was when I watched the last 9 minutes of Six Feet Under (had never seen an episode before.)
I’ll be alright, I still have a summer and when that’s over I should be filling my days with thoughts of graduation and striking west.
5 Days…
I hope this weekend goes well, I’m just going to do what I want and hope everyone has a good time. I’m secretly hoping Niko will do something cute, but…I’m also not expecting anything. My only requirement for this weekend is angel food cake with chocolate frosting, of which I can obtain by myself.
PS: Go see GRINDHOUSE, bring liqour and cigarettes.
xo
I took today off, and it worked out beautifully – it was a rainy day.
I still got up early and took my grandmother to an eye appointment downtown. Unfortunately she’s going to need her second surgery to drain the bleeding caused by her diabetes…I’m still not sure how I feel about the whole thing. I’m confident in the ability of the surgeon but obviously this problem speaks to a bigger problem that cannot be fixed – but I’ll do anything I can to keep her as long as I can.
The weekend was the second pleasant one I’ve had since I got back from SF so I have nothing whoreanus to report…aside my general unease with the whole Niko situation. So sick of being tired and oh so tired of being sick. I just want to feel special to him, I don’t care in what form it comes in, but fuck I’m human and I need the boy I love to show me he loves me back. I know he’s trying mentally, but without any kind of tangible recognition how am I supposed to know? It’s just so frustrating and it always comes out in drunken gripe-fests that I hate myself for but I just don’t know how else to appeal to him…I just worry that over time this whole situation is going to prove counter-productive. I can feel myself building up excuses to why he isn’t, and excuses bare resentment, and resentment – well we’ve come full circle and I don’t want that to happen. I love him too much.
Otherwise I continue to try and right the ship financially…I’m really close to perfecting the weeks budget and I know I’ll get there. It seems silly at 21 I should be struggling with something like this but whatever, I was never taught fiscal responsibility. I’ll get there, I’m close.
The coming months will be hectic and over the top. Between now and July there’s a list of events that I have to look forward to including birthdays, thomas’ homecoming + 21st bday, beach trips, visiting friends and a fucking raise! So, however bogged down by love’s trials and impending life changes on the horizon – I have plenty of things to keep me on the up and up.
For now, cheap wine and Saves The Day are ultimate therapy.
xo
Filed under: general bullshit
Alright, I don’t want to sound crazy but the muppets have been taking up most of my work days this week…
Let me explain -
So, I forget how or why but I had The B
each Boys – Kokomo stuck in my head. I remembered the muppets did a music video that I loved for that song…and then it hit me! I distinctly remember – possibly on network television or could have been the disney channel – that they had this TV Spot music video that had a TON of celebrity cameo’s in it and was like 2 minutes long. I a) can’t remember the song, though I know it was upbeat and something probably made in the early 90’s/late 80’s and c) Where it aired…all I can remember is the Today Show cast being in it, and possibly Candice Bergen but I could be making that up.
I feel like Alexis might know the answer to this one…
SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME IT’S DRIVING ME INSANE!
I’m not going to talk about it, I’m just going to deal with it on my own…so let’s move on.
Concert Season begins tonight for me! Thank christ! I’ve never seen Bloc Party before so it should be a good time. I’m also queing up a busy april/may schedule for other shows that looks like this:
4/17 Boys Night Out w/Plain White T’s
5/03 Saves the Day w/Say Anything
5/12 Hot Rod Circuit
5/17 Pretty Girls Make Graves (Final Show)
5/19 Against Me! w/Cursive
Sweet Jesus! It’s going to be amazing….save for the PGMG show at which point I might start hysterically crying in front of Andrea Zollo.
Sidenote: I should start thinking about what I want to do for my birthday, ideas anyone?
<3
Let the pictures tell the story.
Uh, I couldn’t find a site to host this mash-up I’ve been bumping lately but I will! and post it with a full entry maybe tomorrow.
For now, slumber.
xo
My horoscope for today:
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Get moving — a trip will help you determine whether or not to make a change or stay put. You can expand your interests if you take an active role in a group that focuses on similar pastimes. Love is looking hot. 5 stars
5 stars no less! Brilliant.
People telling me I’ve “changed.”
Very seldom is that term used in any kind of positive context, and I find that disheartening. Change is good, it’s the only constant…and unless the ramifications in which I’m changing are dangerous - keep your mouth shut.
In a recent exchange with Rebecca, she raised some concerns about my character.
(To date: nothing constructive has ever come from anyone questioning my character.)
She brought to my attention the last time we had hung out, when I was leaving I made a comment about her jacket, something along the lines of “Girl, time to get a new coat!” A very benign, typical gay comment on a coat I thought she had for years (turns out it was a newer version of the same old coat.) She was insulted, insulted enough to remember it and bring it up a week later anyway… However, that one comment had now sparked a conversation about how over the past year I’ve become someone different. There were not specific labels of just what exactly I had become (though I’m dying to know,) but after the conversation I felt gross – sour grapes for everyone.
I suppose this is an issue for me because something so insignificant like making a joke about a material possession – or making faces at her roommates (another story for another time) had turned into her getting real with me. I didn’t know what to say…what are you supposed to say? Doesn’t an introspective review take days or weeks, and usually end up in being stressed out and forcing often (however miniscule) some sort of lifestyle change?
*$)@*_)#@!!!!
My automatic response was to stick to my guns, I wasn’t being cruel by making a sarcastic comment about her jacket – and quite frankly her roommates are clearly not anywhere on my radar of giving a shit. I just wish people could articulate better when it comes to concern. I know Rebecca didn’t mean to make me feel this way but she did, and for no good reason. To make matters worse, Nik backed her up. Maybe they feel like I’ve left them behind, I’m not really sure, but the word of the day for Nik and Reba is Irrational.
Irrational.
