I’ve been enjoying the days assigned to rest for my vacation thus-far, so I figured I’d catch a moment and update.

Some of the crew and I went camping in the green mountains this weekend, it felt short lived compared to last October when we went to NH. The grounds were gorgeous, we were on a river and our site was a lot bigger than before. There were lots of trails and hiking to do, one of which led to a waterfall we swam in…fucking cold as hell but a ton of fun. Of course there was drinking, and card games and flashlight hikes. I put the pictures on my flickr.

Since getting back I’ve been preparing for Montreal and sitting on the couch with Tevvy getting LOST. I was hesitant at first when I heard about it, but having all of the seasons at my fingertips makes it like crack…we can’t stop watching it. I made more progress in Zelda, did some laundry, cooked dinner and sat around – just what I needed.

I’m a little less excited about MTL than I was before, I really need to be focusing on saving money rather than spending it. However, I’m committed to the trip and when you’ve told people you’re going to do something you follow through. I would never back out at the last minute plus I know I’ll be fine, It’s just at an undesirable time.

and there you have it.

Sorry.

I guess I have forgotten that I have an audience that reaches beyond who hears what I have to say first-hand. My apologies.

Having said that I’ve been in a rut for a week or two. I’m not happy, but I’m not sad – I find myself in this ugly void of emotion where I just do what I can to not think about anything. I still refuse to look at pictures of my grandmother, or see my uncle. I want to, I really wish I could be getting on with this but I know at this juncture it would do more bad than good to force it.

My heart is a car wreck.

The better news is how much sun I’ve been getting exposed to, and how much time I’m getting with Thomas, and how Niko’s hard work paid off and he’s now a graduate and academic award winning graphic designer! and how much I missed the simple pleasure of dinner and a movie with good company.

School is alright, I’m taking a police class and learning how I can sleaze my way out of getting arrested. Or at least that’s what I’m trying to learn. I just want to be done, if I could take 9 classes a week I would just to have it be over. I need a rest…I just want to have work as a responsibility.

Work is getting better every month…I really do love it here and am gaining invaluable experience with these folks. I’ve never felt more supported and comfortable with any work group before…they’re like family. I don’t think I can emphasize how much I enjoy my job and how serious I take it. For whatever stories I tell about the flexibility of the job (i.e. playing AOE during downtime) there’s 20 others of situations in which I’m busting my ass. I just don’t bother telling those because, hey, that shit’s boring.

Alright, it’s Friday and I managed to catch Thomas’ coughing virus but that will not stop me from having a great Memorial Day. COOKOUT REVIVAL!!!

Oh, 28 Weeks Later was fucking sick.

So is this.

Sorry for the delay, I haven’t really had any motivation to write. Plus it’s been super fucking nice out.

I got the “inside” word today that come August, I’ll be moving up the clinical ladder at work. They’ve been conditioning me since I started to be the SCT (Stem Cell Transplant) Clinical Coordinator from day one. I took the admin assist job because I was afraid I would fuck up, and I definitely would have so I’m glad I’ve spent this last year getting a handle on our program. I’m really excited to be getting back to the patient side of business…It’s my passion to be out there having a hands-on approach to helping people. It’s not quite clinical social work but it’s as close as I can get without my MSW. Needless to say I’m fucking blinded with excitement about the upcoming change…and also a little nervous. It’s going to require much more effort than I’m giving now (not because I’m lazy, the job isn’t very needy) but I’m willing and eager to take it on. Not to mention the raise…

I’ll keep you posted.

Thomas has been back and I’ve been happily getting as much time with him as possible. It’s refreshing to have him back, he’s my shoulder to lean on and the slap in the back of the head when I’m being stupid – which is more often these days. We had a boys night in the other night and just drank wine, smoked cigarettes and watched Shortbus (amazing, btw.) and I had the most fun I’ve had in a long time. Not to discredit the wild nights with the BWPC, it’s just different when T-Money is around…it’s like being home. Alternatively, I’ve been seeing less of Niko, which is what it is…he’s busy graduating…I really don’t have much to say about that anymore…outloud anyway.

May and June are filling up with a ton of events, namely Thomas’ 21st and my sisters baby shower. The fucking invitation I got in the mail had an asterisk at the bottom that read “*Nicole HATES the color yellow, keep this in mind when shopping”

Hahahaha you frigid bitch!