Long time no blog.
It’s not that I haven’t had anything to say, it’s that I’ve come into such little time to be bored enough to write – which is both a curse and a blessing.
Happy to report I passed my law final with an 82.7, which I’m fine with…B student all the way. I start my last of 3 terms at Baystate on Monday and I’m getting pretty pumped to be finished. Writing papers has become the bain of my existence but with the start of new classes comes the hope of more apathetic teachers who focus more on testing than writing…we’ll see.
Work is fine, It was pretty crazy with all of our auto transplants coming down the line in Jan/Feb but they’ve all but a few been admitted and/or are outpatient now so the storm is passing. I almost have a complete grasp on all of the facets of the new position, it’s more or less training my mind to retain the details of every case on service at a given moment – which is a skill I’m not so sure I can acquire.
Socially things continue to keep my life constantly teasing the sound barrier. The Montreal crew (sans D woods) went to NYC for a few days to see the Spice Girls and get into trouble. Both vacations we’re equal in terms of the amount of relaxation time I got, but equal in satisfaction as well so I won’t complain.
Thomas has been in and out which has been good, not great, but good. I still look forward to him coming home every time, it’s always a good time.
Niko seems to be flourishing, I’m happy for him.
and the bwpc, well…they’re all still cheats and liars but I keep their company regardless.
Happy Birthday Shelby, btw.
Everything is maintaining a quiet happiness for now, I’m enjoying the company of Brian when he’s around and Jenfo on our wine nights. I miss Tevvy Laufer and the baby but keep a spot for them on the couch when I watch our shows.
Birthday soon, looking forward to topping last years shitmess.
I hope you’re all starting to ideate the perfect gift for my 23rd year, bitches.
xoxo
I’m seriously lacking with this update business!
Up until the middle of December I was still anticipating quite a shitty holiday season, and how wrong was I?
I think having the boys home had a lot to do with it, but also time off from school, work, and mixed with an unusual availability of time between all of the BWPC created this crazy storm of ridiculousness. Today is my first day of rest in nearly a week, by the time Brian and I woke up yesterday my body had fucking had it…I plan on getting as much sleep and drinking as much water as possible in the next few days.
Everything has been really good interpersonally, I’ve managed to not harbor any bitchy feelings over the holidays and kind of fix things for myself with Brian and start a new friendship with Niko’s Brian…who it turns out is a sweet kid with good intentions. I’ve been able to spend a good amount of time with Thomas which has had a lot to do with booting my mood and patience levels with everything.
I have the rest of this week off to rest before another crazy weekend (I’m sure) with the boys. Next week begins the new semester and the boys will pack up and head back to their schools, I’m not sad though…this time spent with them has (if nothing else) re-assured our love for each other and the strength of our bond. State borders haven’t done much in the way of hurting that. I’ll have a full class load when I go back on Monday which I’m not really stoked about but will get through it because there’s only 3 more months of bitter cold left before I can look forward to sleeping with my windows open at night and smelling spring in the morning again.
I think I’m gonna walk to Whole Foods and grab some vanilla cheesecake…I’ve got a craving like Paul and bad decisions.
xo
Filed under: the FSB
can’t. fucking. wait.
Thomas and Niko will be coming home in the next week and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. My last math class is on the 19th and then I’m free to play with my boys for a few weeks and re-charge my soul. I’m not entirely confident I’m going to pass this course, I totally bombed a test last week (though didn’t fail it) and I have serious doubts as to my ability to pass the final. I’m putting all of my energy in the ‘paper’ final assignment due this Wednesday.
Pray for me.
I feel like once this class is over I will be able to shake this funk I’ve fallen into, I’m kind of joyless in almost everything I do. Weekends with the crew have become sort of routine and dry even when we’re doing something I would normally totally enjoy…I dunno what’s wrong. Hopefully being with the FSB will give me the jump start I need to be m
ore happy and productive with school and work, so we’ll wait and see.
Otherwise I’m chugging along through everything, rent is paid, bills are paid, I bought gifts for people for the holiday, and I finally replaced my 8 year old surge protector under my feet that had burn marks and a melted socket. Small triumphs are where I’m at these days, things like making sure we never run out of paper towels and that I have clean work clothes for the week have become little pockets of comfort. What the hell is wrong with me?
Couple of fun events on the horizon I hope to really enjoy – Tomorrow is the final Boston Hot Rod Circuit show which I’m ok with, I haven’t seen them in ages but they haven’t put anything good out in ages so we break even and maybe I can give Casey a hug goodbye. Next Sunday Brian and I are going to the Pats v. Jets game in Foxboro which will be chilly but fucking amazing…I’m really stoked about that one. Of course the BWPC Xmas party and NYE bash will be fun, or at least guaranteed better than last year :X
Fancy myself the new Thursday live/rare/whatever CD.
I feel like being bitchy on the couch and playing Mario Galaxy…my latest tiny happiness.
xo
PS – Peep the Flickr I posted about 200 pics from the DFCI party and Ture’s.
here’s why:
So I finally broke my camera on Thanksgiving night. I drunkenly dropped it on the ground at Sean’s towards the end of the night with the lens out which produced this lovely glowing white screen instead of pictures. LUCKILY! My sexy little camera was covered by BestBuy’s AMAZING 4 year protection plan that was an additional $90 at time of purchase – Whew! lucky me, now all I have to do is bring it to the store and presto! new camera…right?
So I trek down on Black Friday because I had nothing to do and why not right? Upon arriving I waited 10 minutes for some guy to return the DVD version of “Alien” (seriously?) before I was able to talk to someone at the customer service desk. My new friend Julisia told me that because there was a sale going on and all of the geek squad people were told to “Sell, sell, sell” on this day – they weren’t taking any repair requests so I could go fuck myself.
I almost walked away, really…
I decided that this was unjust, and the plan that good money was spent on didn’t have a greed claus that says I don’t matter on busy days when the shithead populous needs help plugging a fucking flash drive in to their new metal box of cheap shit. So I asked to speak with a manager…
This kid walks up to me, with a puca shell necklace and a tongue ring. Fuck.
Proceeds to tell me I was “silly” for bringing a repair in the day after Thanksgiving, and he “Simply doesn’t have the manpower” to fufill his company’s obligation to fix my broken fucking camera. I got so frustrated at this point, not so much about how he insulted my intelligence, but that he was playing with his fucking tongue ring the whole time!
I said “Fuck you” and walked out.
Brought it to Landmark the next day and voila! My camera is now shipped and waiting to be fixed.
In other news, Thomas was home for a few days and I got to spend time with him which was good for my soul. Brian finally got his hands on pats tickets for the steelers game! aaannd the boys and I are planning our Spice Girls New York Vacation 2008.
shazam!
aha! here I am!
Boston is in slipping into a gross freeze and it’s making me a cranky bitch (and late for work) almost every day.
I finished my law class and while I don’t know what my grade is exactly I’m confident I did well enough, hopefully B+ ish??? Gotta keep padding that GPA bitches!
I should mention that my chances of staying in Boston after graduation have increased like 20% due to the opportunities now being afforded to me by this new position, but I’m still very much needing the California sun. Also, I think SF might be out…I mean my whole thing was I want some fucking lovely climate that’s easy to live in so I’ve been poking around the web doing some research on San Diego and the programs out there…not so bad? We shall see.
I start new classes this week but plan on going to none of them, I’ve been fighting this ugly cold for weeks now and need a mental/physical health week – not to mention one of my new classes is that fucking awful mathematics course I put off in July. I’m fucked big time on that one. Gahhhh
Halloween’s been great so far, I’m heading up to Nashua to meet Brian’s friends on Wednesday and I took Thursday off so that will be my finale as next week is Richard’s birthday and it’s back to the business of getting drunk in normal clothes. The boys are well, I’m looking forward to next week because we finally get Ture back from the evil (and filthy) clutches of north shore politics.
Egh, Nicole’s birthday is next Tuesday and I have to go see her and the baby because I’m a terrible person – so the next time you call me remind me (of either.)
I continue to miss Thomas and Niko – I want them to meet Brian and get my jokes and make me enjoy fall in Boston again 
and that’s where I’m at right now, pretty content and SUPER excited to watch the great muppet caper in after this cigarette.
xo
jeeeeez….
Apologies for the lack of updates but I had a pretty crazy September. It seems I last posted with any substance on the 10th, and in that time quite a bit has happened but in modern seano fashion I’m just going to give you the briefest rundown possible (and it’s 12:34 and I needz mah beauty rest).
I had made it a pretty regular routine to spend my Fri-Sun with the boys and going to the usual places doing the usual things…nothing spectacular on that front. Paul lost his goddamn mind and the ‘BWPC’ has dwindled in numbers since, but I can’t say I’m sorry for it because the people who are relevant I still find time for. Avalon finally shut its doors for the last time at the end of the month and I missed it because…
I planned to surprise Niko in San Francisco before we got into our spat before he left, I’m glad we cleared it up when he actually did leave cause otherwise it would have made for one weird vacation. On the 24th I left for SFO for a week to visit with Mr. Arty and obviously to surprise my baby boy. All in all it was a success on my end, I called him up
outside his dorm and told him I was downstairs…it was pretty neat…It’s one of those things that you imagine but never consider and I’m glad I could make it happen. The rest of my time spent in SF was amazing, I attending the Folsom Street Fair (pics to the left), went to many fabulous eateries, spent a shitload of money on some new junk, and met some new friends. During my stay I did find time to be solo and take a last (well maybe not last) glance at a city I could be moving to in less than a year. I found that while I absolutely adore the city and the western lifestyle…I’m not as headstrong as I was before I came on this second trip. San Francisco is an extremely competitive city full of young adults with talent and the resources necessary to get the jobs they want, not to say I’m afraid…but some extra time padding my resume or taking on more education couldn’t hurt before jumping to the left coast.
We’ll see…
I got home with just enough time to catch up on sleep that I had lost from my terrifying plane ride (nothing abnormal about the trip itself I’m just a basket case on flying metal tubes of death). When I got back to work I immediately hit one of those ‘I’m overwhelmed with work so I’m going to shut down’ moods and had the worst time digging out from emails for the 2 fucking positions I’m working right now. Hopefully the end is near for the job I’m supposed to be done with, but not before I build an 8,000 reference library for a nathan-oski chapter that was due in February. Fuck! I’m not happy about going to work tomorrow knowing I was supposed to get some of it done last week and got none of it…gahhhh
No work rant! No!
The only piece I’m reluctant to type about is the boy sitch. By whichever means people will tell you it was by, I did meet a boy that I’ve been spending time with for about a month. Initially I treated it with the same skepticism I always do, but he’s a smart guy and pretty genuine so we’ll see how this goes…i’m currently enjoying myself quite a bit with it so I’ll stick with that and not put any expectations or goals for it and see how that plan works out for me.
See? A happy note ending!!
xo
ps – really missing my Thomas.
There was an eerie fall-ish breeze today that made me nauseous.
Good ‘ole New England wastes no time cooling down.
I finally got some rest time tonight to order myself some take-out, do some much needed laundry and get caught up on LOST with Tevvy Laufer (I even got a nap in the sun in! +10 pts). After class, where I got my A- midterm back! I ended up meeting with Thomas and we talked some things out and laughed a lot.
I needed that.
I’m looking forward to this weekend, I feel like I’ve been gone so long. It will be nice to see those I haven’t and be in familiar surroundings. For as much shit as I talk about leaving and blah blah, when you’ve had a month of transience it’s always nice to be back ‘home’
Tomorrow is Kelly’s last day…It’s weird I guess I either don’t care or haven’t accepted she’s leaving. Things have been so bizarre at work with all of the changes going on I think I’m just off in space when I’m there lately. It definitely will be sad not to have her spirit around and her goofy humor. She’s definitely a comfort for me and a big reason for my successes. Props to you Kel, best of luck in Denver.
I’m dreading September less and less too, which is good for seanostasis. I’m really looking forward to the roomate changes and how I’ll finally get that clean bathroom I’ve always DREAMED of. Plus living with 3 gay guys will have its advantages as well… 
I think I’ll take a fall vacation too, I just don’t know where…
AND! I’ve been to the beach ONCE this summer – COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE! So, let’s go! I can always take work off people…chop chop!
bedsies.xo
I Remember.
Once, while falling into approvals tricky arms
I saw esteem’s corpse
Deafened by allure’s sweet, sweet song
Montreal was fan-fucking-tastic. I won’t get into a 3 page description of what went on because I’m tired of re-telling the story (it’s a long one). If you crave the details than just ask me, I can sum up the trip in a few words:
Champagne, late nights, strippers, walks until dawn, sunglasses, excess.
Shit was out. of. control. – a complete success by far, probably one of the most best planned and executed trips i’ve ever taken. Nik, Richard, Patsy and Damion contributed to one of the best trips I’ve ever taken.
Affixed like I’m under a spell
That ain’t even like myself
No – things are going to change
That starts today
I’m home safe and re-adjusting to the crazy (and not so sudden) changes to work. My first day back was fucking twilight zone. All at the same time I’m digging out from what I’ve missed, training for my new position, planning for people who are leaving and coordinating with all the other departments for the staff shift. Nuts.
Otherwise? I’m still in a sort of post-vacation haze, I wish I could go back. I knew as soon as I left Montreal the background anxiety would creep its way back into the front rows of thought.
It’s funny…when I made this blog I told myself no inhibitions, no regrets, no holding back, etc. etc. etc.
And yet I find myself not wanting to write about something that so desperately needs to be let out.
It seems just yesterday I ate it up
Your yarns were dipped in gold
I swallowed them whole
The real tragedy is that your act is just boring and old
Half of me is resigned to the fact that I’ve become such a new person, that my tolerance for bullshit is so low that it doesn’t deserve this kind of recognition. The other half, however, begs I forgive in the honor of years past; and continue to put my own needs and respects down to quell a problem all I’ve dealt with for a while now.
Fuck that.
Back and forth with this disdain
That ain’t even why I came
And when I scream
You want me crawling on my knees
I guess these days I’m someone else
I’m better off all by myself
These days I’m just somebody else
I exist as a part of a whole – that could never exist without one of the other parts.
Funny how things turn out.
I have angel food cake once a year, usually on my birthday as it is the best kind of cake.
Factoid!
Melissa’s wedding was beautiful, she’s a gorgeous girl and I’m stoked she’s so happy. I’m also relieved to not have to hear about wedding shit at work again for a while as David and I are the only un-married people left in the group. Fantastic.
The reception was fun, I spent more time with Leslie and the NP’s – I really have become attached to Leslie, she’s so genuine in her feelings about her staff, we’ve become this family that I’m proud to be apart of and spend so much time out of work with.
I had a moment though, they played “Crazy” by Patsy Cline during the reception and I came really close to losing it. I’ve been avoiding all reminders of my grandmother and I would have been fine but Melissa asked me to dance to it and I had to say no choking back tears…not exactly how I like to operate with work folks, but they understood and I ended up fine.
The cookout was fun, I think I’m done hosting events at my house for a while? I just love when other people have to clean up the mess…hah.
I feel like I’m 40, who goes to these many events at 22? Am I crazy? oi.
None of this is going to flow because I’m scatter brained tonight…and all I want are cigarettes and beer.
I also want to see Niko, he’s been home for days! Where’s the effort?
Midterms are this week, then my vacation starts…I’m looking forward to it. I just want to sleep as much as possible before Montreal…as I will get none when I’m there.
alright, I thought I wanted to write something worth reading but I just don’t have the energy…I’m gonna watch some LOST and pass out.
kisses
